WHAT are you Expecting?

The thought has recently crossed my mind that so many of us are "expecting". Facebook is filled with one long time friend after another proclaiming her pregnancy. This is awesome and amazing! I do know, that many of you e-mailed when you heard about Ruthie and poured out your own story in confidence, and I also know that many of you are now experiencing the same faith walk as I am. I understand that you are expecting, but let me ask you a question I just recently asked myself, "What are you expecting?" You may think, well it is too early for me to know...I'm not 20 weeks yet. You may say, we are expecting a boy etc. That's not what I am talking about.

WHAT ARE YOU EXPECTING?

Are you expecting a bundle of joy, abundant blessing of a child, alive and healthy? OR are you hanging on by a thread expecting that history will repeat itself in your life? I know that this is a hard situation as many of you may have experienced the pain of a child in eternity more than once, and I personally do not know that pain. But, I think there is a lot to be said about expectation. God has been teaching me about the power of expectation in my own pregnancy. At first, it was hard to even think about being pregnant without automatically thinking about Ruthie...pain, fear, emptiness the list goes on. But in the past month God has changed my expectations, the words I think and speak, and the level of excitement that I have for Hannah.

I asked myself 2 questions: What expectations are coming out of your mouth? What actions are taking place in your life to show the world that your words hold some weight in your own heart?

Out of my mouth: God trained me a while back to watch my words. The Bible says that life and death is in the power of the tongue. That is a serious statement, which made me really rethink a lot of the things I say. Even more so now that I am walking a serious faith walk, I wanted to make sure that what God was expecting for my life was coming out of my mouth. I let Him train me. You see, sometimes prayer is about asking God for things, and other times He wants to know that you know His character and His good and perfect will. This is what I pray over my womb, what I confess over my child. Before we go on, confess simply means to agree with. When I confess these words, I agree with my Lord for the blessing, but I also learn to agree with my own words.

Rather than, "Lord please protect this child" as if I have to BEG Him to allow a live and healthy birth in my life, I say, "Thank you Lord that this moment your protection covers my sweet Hannah. Thank you that she is being knit together in my womb, that you have the hairs on her head numbered and a plan to prosper her and give her a hope and a future. Lord Hannah will be born alive, healthy and without blemish. My fluid will be intact and we will have a normal, healthy labor and delivery. From this point forward the Lord is her shelter and strong tower, she is fearfully and wonderfully made, she is worth more than rubies, and she has an ordained future that only You know and that WILL be fulfilled. Lord You word says You have come that they might have LIFE and LIFE abundantly, I believe for this abundant life for Hannah."

The difference between the prayer of expectation and a prayer of begging is that we line our prayers up with the Word, speak it over our lives and EXPECT that Jesus will do what He claims. I don't expect my history to repeat itself, I expect abundance and blessing in my daughter Hannah. This may sound a little inflated of me. You may think, "Who are you to expect these things of God and put these standards on God?" Well dare I say that I have confidence in the Word. Confidence that when scripture goes forth it does not return void. The prayer above is practically all scripture directly from the Word. So are we believing in God to do whatever He wants, or are we believing God based on His Word that He has given us? I think standing on the Word provides a greater foundation.

I asked one other question, about my actions. Are your daily steps of faith backing up your confessed expectations? Well that all depends on what you are expecting. If you expect that this is just going to be round #2 with a same result as round #1, then maybe your actions are lining up: you are not creating a nursery just in case. You have not picked out names because you might not use them. You are afraid to tell people you are pregnant in case it happens again. These are signs of the expectations of our heart. I know this because in every circumstance, I had to battle. I wanted to wait to tell people we were pregnant, I never picked a name, God did and told me to tell everyone (I didn't want to), I put off buying Hannah's coming home onesie...You name it, I was there! My actions were not backing up the prayer of faith departing from my mouth. When it was between me and God, I was good...but if it was putting myself out there in front of you, that was a whole other thing.

I will tell you it has not been easy painting the room, it has not been easy putting the crib up, it has not been easy buying Hannah clothes, or talking about what kind of birth we want. But I am learning that God wants me to expect that He has my back. That He will bring this to completion and protect us from our painful past. And I want my walk of faith to line up with the words I speak over Hannah daily. These are hard decisions, but I have learned that faith is like a muscle and when we work it, it gets stronger. Working my faith, prepping for her, and starting to nest (I will have a baby here in no more than 7 1/2 weeks!!) has made my excitement for her all the greater.

Honestly what is looming in my head right now: we are getting close to the time when this happened with Ruthie. These thoughts come into my head just as they are coming into yours. Can I offer a tip to help you? When a negative thought comes in, speak a positive word out over and over until it goes away. So when the enemy tells you, this pregnancy is no different than any other, you say, "In the name of Jesus this child will have life and life abundantly, in the name of Jesus my past does not determine my future." Pregnancy is supposed to be a time of joy, glowing, excitement and expectation of new life. If you don't have it...it has been stolen from you. Jesus wants our joy to be full! Don't let anything steal the joy you have for your current child, that child is a gift, and the more you exercise your faith, the more you will grow to love that child and be excited over that child.

I used to think that Hannah would make it harder to be without Ruthie. Boy has the Lord showed me that is not so! As I walk each step of faith (no matter how much it hurts), HE has supernaturally increased my joy and excitement over Hannah...to points where I have danced before the Lord (to the sound of my own voice singing!) praising Him for His wonders and for pouring such favor on me. The longer we reside in the shadow of the enemy looming over us, telling us that we will never have another live child, that everything always repeats itself, the longer we remain away from the son...and I do mean SON the SON of God who pours light, life, blessing, favor, healing, anointing, power, and grace into our lives. I urge you, Mom with a hurting heart, or maybe even a doubting heart, step out from under the enemy and step into God's abundant awesomeness...filled with light, glory, and blessing.

I am praying for you, and EXPECTING the blessing of your child. May you be peaceful and comforted as you walk the journey of faith. You are Loved.