A Trigger Day

So I have hit one of those days. One of those "triggers" that every book told me to watch out for. Regardless of how much I watched, it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Praise God that I write from a place of victory.

True to my usual moments of freak out, it didn't occur exactly on my birthday, but just a few days before. It hit me that I was about to celebrate another year of my life, within just 2 months of handing over my daughter's life to Jesus. What a painful thought. I thought over and over, "How can I celebrate my life, when my daughter doesn't have one?" Thankfully I have a husband who has never pitied me through this process. Thankfully, he knows how to lovingly encourage me in my sorrow while at the same time not allowing me to stay there. Thankfully he hears the voice of the Lord and allows that to guide him while I am in my weakest times. There are times he is incredibly tender, and others where he is almost stern. This was one of those stern times--before my husband gets e-mails, facebook messages, texts, and phone calls yelling at him for being stern to his wife in need, let me assure you that in all of these cases it has ALWAYS been exactly what I needed.

Have you ever been so down-and-out that you needed a swift kick in the pants to get you moving again? Yeah...I thought so...me too. Brian came over to me, as I was weak from sobbing so hard and simply said, "She has life Lex, just not here." Ahhhh, the sweet sound of truth!! If you are along the same journey as me, never...NEVER underestimate the power of God's truth. Let me repeat: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF GOD'S TRUTH! If at any point during your journey you think you don't need it, please reconsider. God's truth has been the only balm to my spirit during this time. It has not been Brian, the amazing kids I have, family...sorry. It has been the Lord Jesus himself. Not a single human can bind up this wound except the God-Man himself, Jehovah Rapha (meaning: "The God that Healeth Me"), Jesus Christ, God Almighty, the Messiah, our Rock, The Redeemer Himself. Call Him what you will, He is the only mender of the brokenhearted.

The healing produced in that moment led me through my birthday celebration with Joy. Praise you Almighty God for Your words of truth!! May you relish and bathe in His words of truth. May they surround you so greatly that you desire nothing of this world, and everything that heaven has to offer.