Hello Everyone!
Praise God that we each awoke today with the breath of life in us, only something that God Almighty can do! His mercy on us is new everyday, and a sign of that is His choice to wake us! These past couple of days have been easy on my spirit. I feel Jesus filling me up again with His goodness, and I am having a "cup-half-full" sort of day. I have learned one great lesson this week: you can have your moments of down that feel dramatic and painful, and still look back on the week and think, "Wow, that was a pretty good week!"
I have a great praise this week and that is I received all of my lab work from the hospital at my OB appointment yesterday. I have a clean bill of health and from what they tested (which seems like EVERYTHING!) I am cleared for future pregnancies according to the medical world (not that they have the ultimate say). The labs were all negative, and from those tests we were able to see that my body was functioning appropriately. This was a huge weight off my shoulders that caused much of my anxiety over the past few days.
In that time of anxiousness I began to comb the Psalms for comfort. I know that we are not to be anxious if we are in Christ, but still it creeps in at times. In an effort to keep my mind right and keep the stomach butterflies and sweaty palms at bay, I cried out to God, "Father, help me find something...anything in this book [the Bible] that will relax my nerves and let me know that you have my back." You see, I knew all the main verses-they were already running through my head: Philippians 4:6-8, Matthew 11:28-30. But that didn't seem to help me. Is there anyone out there who sometimes needs a fresh Word from the Lord? Something you have never seen before? Somehow I doubt the goodness of the verses of old that I quote over and over...sadly they become cliche in my life and I don't believe them as much. I find that every once in a while I need something new...something that finding the verse is as much of a miracle as the peace that follows it. Maybe I am the only one, or maybe you completely understand where I am at. Regardless, I called and He, in His faithfulness, answered and came to my rescue with a verse that is short and sweet but gave me everything I needed at the time. I didn't have to look far, Psalm 1:6 says,
"For the Lord knows the way of the righteous."
Praise God! In that moment I was swept away in the spirit and was elated to know that even though I didn't know where this appointment was headed, God did. He knew my way. My prayers of thanksgiving flowed to the heavens, "Thank you Father that what is uncertain to me, is certain to you!" Not only did He know the report that I was going to get, He also knew how He wanted me to handle it. "Lexi, will you give praise no matter what you hear? Will you walk in faith in what I say and trust me? Will you obey my Word to you no matter how many children I call you to birth?" Sigh...easy to say "YES LORD!" not so easy to mean it. I took a minute. In a breath of honesty I said, "Yes, Lord, Your will is my desire."
Then God spoke, "Sweet child of mine, let me show you what I have in store for you." And the Father of Life brought me to a passage that melted my heart, Psalm 36:8-9:
"They [the children of men] are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures for with You is the fountain of life"
What I loved so much about this verse was that is said nothing of us doing anything or even asking to drink of the Lord's river of pleasures. He gives it to us, a free gift that fills us with life. I have no way of knowing how many children God will produce though me, but I know that regardless of the number I will always be allowed to drink from the river of His pleasures and so long as I am walking with Jesus I will be filled with life. That verse was a reminder to me that even in this time of sadness God has already lined up future pleasures for us that He will give us as a gift in His perfect and ultimate timing.
God Bless You All
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