For Better or for Worse

As we begin to prep for our move out of San Diego this summer I began going through some things that we haven't been through in a while. One of the biggest obstacles has been rummaging through pictures and removing the doubles. We have so many different copies of each picture that I actually cut our stash in half! Everything, our entire life together was in these albums and boxes. Justus' birth, our home in Pensacola, baby showers, Brooke's birth, the drive to California, our engagement, bridal shower, parties, friends you name it and I was reminded of it just these past 2 days. Then I came to our wedding pictures. I was reminded of how young we were, how happy we were, and how much we loved (and still do!) each other.

Then it dawned on me, over all of these things we were mostly clueless...

We had no idea what our life would bring. We entered into the covenant of marriage excited! We poured through those vows like they were nothing, not realizing the reality of our chosen words. You see we had traditional vows, which to me said all that needed to be said. We would be together through everything. So many people told us there would be trials, and to me I just equated that to learning to deal with each other, ya know, the pain of two redeemed sinners living under the same roof. We...I...had no idea.

Clueless.

You see I ran down that aisle expecting great things (which we should) and I ran down the aisle because I was in love. But I never really thought about those words. For better or for worse. I seemed to forget about the "worse" thinking that will bypass me, leaving me only with the "better".

You see, life is no respecter of persons. That is why they are part of the covenant vow of marriage. We commit those things to each other before we even know what is written on the pages of our story. We truly believe that the person standing next to us is the physical embodiment of those vows, ordained into our life by God alone, created on purpose to be united with us. For better or for worse.

Boy am I thankful that I took that plunge with a man who keeps his vows. I am so thankful that the person standing next to me at the altar that May 27, 2005 was a man who would not run from the "worse" and would keep my eyes focused on the "better". While we had no idea what awaited us down the road, we had already made the commitment to enter into it together. And since we vowed that before God, there was no turning back. For better of for worse.

As I looked through pictures I was reminded how ignorant I was about life, God, and my enemy. I thought about how naive I was, how unseasoned I was about life and our future. We were just young kids who were in love. And that is the beauty of it. We were so in love that no commitment, no kick in the pants by reality could have stopped us. Praise God for His timing. He called us to commit to each other in this way before we knew the pain He would walk us through just 5 years later.

As I began to think about it, God spoke into my spirit. "Sweet Lexi, you may know the worse but you certainly don't know the better yet." Has the voice of God ever spoken to you so sweetly that you just wanted to rejoice? What a message of prosperity! Yes we committed to worse, but we also committed to BETTER! What was so sweet, was that God let me know that the better didn't happen yet. Thinking about that is overwhelming. My life is amazing. I am blessed coming and going. I stay home with my children, I raise them, educate them, train them. My husband is a hero, full of wisdom, loving, and hilarious. Can life get any better? Praise God, yes it can! I don't know what "better" means for the Kudrle family. Maybe better just means one day walking the streets of heaven that are paved in gold hand-in-hand with Ruthie, or may better will be on this side of heaven filled with abundance, power, faith, hope, and love. Either way, I am sure that we have not experienced all that God has for us as a married couple.

Brian, I love you with everything that God has given me. You are the only person God has used as a source of strength through our journey. I am so glad that it was you I was staring at on God's altar the day we married. While we had no idea what we meant when we quoted "for better or for worse" we knew we were going to do it together. This journey with Ruthie has helped us to embody Ecclesiastes 4:12, "Though one may be overpowered and two can defend themselves, a cord of three strands is not easily broken." We have proved that with God marriage can sustain "worse." I look forward to the prosperous future the Lord has for us as we walk from our worse into our better. I Love You.